you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
