i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize