Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
