dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
