You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
