There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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