Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
