you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
