Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Be still, my beating vagina.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
