playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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