haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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