Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
