So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
