he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
