ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize