Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
