Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
