Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize