Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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