and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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