ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
