i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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