Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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