we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
