Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
