I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
