This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
