I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
