your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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