I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
