Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
