I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
