Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
