I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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