I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
