Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
