I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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