I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
