I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
