Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
