that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
