just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
