totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
