I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
