Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
