He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
