I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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