Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
