is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
