dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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