Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
