Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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