I cannot find my penis.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
