Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Terrible idea I love it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
