like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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