Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Did I show you my penis last night?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
