I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
