Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize